How to Keep Your Angry Mom (or Dad) in Check: 5 Strategies

Rachel Peachey
July 3, 2018
Blog

Maria Montessori, creator of the Montessori method, believed in the spiritual preparation of the teacher. We should be calm guides, ready to walk with our children through not only their academic learning but also through learning grace and courtesy. And of course, we are the main example to follow.

For parents, that seems like an impossible ideal, right? Between the spaghetti flinging, temper tantrums, mud-slinging, butt wiping, snack begging, whining and crankiness (of course there are some smiles in there!), you’d have to be a saint to stay calm in every moment. There are those days when things seem to run smoothly and you’re sure you could easily win a parenting trophy. But, as any parent knows, the next day is most likely to be the complete opposite and full of not so proud moments.

As flawed parents that we are, we are on a continuous journey of learning and improvement. Montessori’s observation that teachers and caretakers of children must prepare themselves spiritually and emotionally to do their work is spot on. We’re much better guides when we’ve prepared our spirits to be excellent models. To become better guides, we must seek out strategies that help us keep our anger, impatience, and frustration in check. But, also remember, it’s impossible to pour from an empty cup, so all of these strategies must be coupled with regular self-care and time for yourself.

How can you keep the angry mom or dad at bay? Here are a few tricks and strategies for helping you keep your calm:

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How to Respond to Defiant Behavior the Montessori Way

Rachel Peachey
March 27, 2018
Blog / Parenting

“No!” my five-year-old declared, “Cleaning up toys is boring.” He’s usually pretty helpful cleaning up his room and enjoys helping around the house, but sometimes he gets in a mood. When that happens, it can be tempting to turn his defiance into a power struggle. Should I force him into cleaning his room, using my power over him as his mother? It’s certainly tempting. But, what’s the Montessori way to approach defiance?

Here’s how we try to respond to defiance the Montessori way:

Show Empathy

Don’t we all feel frustrated or upset when we are faced with doing something we don’t really want to do? I know I don’t always feel like cleaning or doing work, but, I don’t always get to do exactly what I feel like doing. Sometimes I like to vent to my husband or friends about a task in front of me.

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How to Stop Hitting, Biting, Kicking and Throwing: Practical Techniques for Teaching Little Ones How to Handle BIG Feelings

Rachel Peachey
November 17, 2016
Blog

First of all, relax. If you want to know how to stop hitting, biting, kicking, etc. you’re on the right track.

Second of all, it’s highly likely your precious little one WILL stop hitting, biting, kicking and throwing soon. As a very wise school counselor once pointed out to me, “How many adults do you know that hit and bite?” So, yes, there will be an end to this.

Third, know you’re not alone. All experts seem to agree that hitting and biting are common in young children. Although it can be tiring and frustrating to deal with, it is relatively normal.

But…there’s always a but…

What will also happen is that your child will learn other coping mechanisms for dealing with big feelings. One big factor that will help your child leave these behaviors behind is improvement in their ability to communicate. Language is often a point of frustration for little ones who can’t say what they feel or what they want. As language skills improve, so does behavior.

It’s also likely that your child will adopt a coping mechanism learned from you or other influential adults in their life. Some common coping mechanisms for big feelings such as anger, fear and frustration include:

Bottling it up (which can often result in a tummy-ache, stress, headaches, etc.)
Aggressive behaviors such as yelling
Positive outlets for feelings such as taking deep breathes, exercising, etc.

I think most people would opt for teaching their child positive outlets for anger, fear and frustration, but maybe you’re not sure how to do this. Luckily, teaching these techniques goes hand in hand with eliminating hitting, biting, kicking and throwing things.

Now, let’s discuss those techniques for teaching your little one how to stop hitting and handle strong feelings:

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